Even though it came via email, I could not hesitate but to post it here for you all to enjoy — here is the world’s most famous F.C. Greenwich United’s “Season 1 Summary” by Stephen Griffiths:
BEST OF (SEASON 2011):
Best goal: Omar, central middle school, reverse flick one side of the defender and round the other, stopped the ball on the line and headed it in.
Best save: Pavel, with his face.
Best injury: Hands down Mike. Nose smashed across his face “a glorious moment in my football career”.
Funniest thing ever: Pavel bringing the hello kitty band aid.
Biggest waste of time: reading Blazej’s email, telling us about fire extinguisher laws on a boat. Thanks.
2nd biggest waste of time: voting 5 times for a shirt, emailing number and size and never getting closer to receiving one!
Best introduction to the group: Pavel, first kick smashes the ball into Blazej’s jaw.
Best Defense: Doug, just not normally recognized as soccer defense.
Worst defense: Doug, for the same reason. Omar was omitted from this category having yet to play any defense.
Most generous: Freddy, pays 10 bucks every week and plays for 5 mins before getting injured. 2nd place Doug who pays the same amount, arrives 30 mins late and takes 20 mins to warm up.
Most 2 footed: Mike, equally talented on either foot.
Most enthusiastic: Tie, Mike for thinking he is Roy Keen, Freddy for thinking he is 19, Blazej for bringing a camera strapped to his head.
Saddest thing ever: 2nd place, Blazej for turning up in the snow and videoing himself playing on his own and then putting it on the website! 1st place, me for watching it!!
Least enthusiastic: Chris for moaning about his age but running harder than anyone.
Best passing maneuver: Dave, last week, exit 3, still drunk, chops 2 cars swerving across 3 lanes.
Most corrupt: Blazej, vote for any shirt as long as it is red! And when this doesn’t work starting inviting more Polish people to play. Waiting for the re-vote.
Kindest: Kaihan, for the doorstop, I mean book and also for looking after my kids in the morning so that I could play even though he wasn’t!
Got to go Caroline isn’t happy that she has wrapped all but one of the presents (and that was the one I bought for her): just to reiterate the other chaps, thanks Blazej for organizing us all. You’ve brought a lot of fun to our Sunday mornings although a lot of pain to the few days afterwards! Keep it up mate, thanks. Merry Christmas everyone.
– Thanks, Steve!
